My name is Darin and I am no longer an alcoholic. I chose to end my life on the afternoon of Oct. 18th, 2018. I could no longer stand the pain that I had, due to alcohol and those who I let get into my head and continued to push my buttons when I was drinking. I had to stop my pain as well as the pain & suffering that I was causing those that I loved.
I was born on October 24th, 1966 and my parents are Bob & Linda Cook AKA “Pa” & “Ma” Cook who own Ace Realty & Property Management. My sister is Darcy Cook Porter. I lived all of my life in the Treasure Valley, graduating from Vallivue High School. I worked for many years for Les Swab Tires in Boise, McCall, Nyssa & Ontario. I loved racing my motorcycle at Firebird Raceway and other Division 6 race tracks.
Please, parents, brothers & sisters and friends that are living with an addiction, read the rest of my story. An online guest book and the rest of Darin’s story may be found at www.nampafuneralhome.com
A Celebration of Life Service will be held at 2 PM on Saturday, October 27, 2018 at the Grace Bible Church, 1415 Lone Star Rd. in Nampa. Service is under the direction of the Nampa Funeral Home, Yraguen Chapel, 415 12th Ave. So. – 208-442-8171.
I started drinking beer in my early teens as I wanted to be cool, plus it gave me liquid courage. As I got into my late teens & early twenties, I started messing with drugs as beer by then was not giving me the high. Fortunately, I soon found out that drugs was not the route I wanted to go after I got up one morning and my pick-up was gone for non-payment to my drug dealer. When beer was not filling my high, I turned to the hard stuff. Drinking on my days off, then year by year it became once in awhile during the week, then every other day, until the last few years it was daily drinking a up to two fifth’s a day. In the meantime, family & friends were trying to help. Oh, how I wanted to stop and tried to stop. Since February of 2017 I have been in the hospital 16 times anywhere from 3-12 days at a time. I got out the last time just days before I ended my life. My liver was shot, I was prone to seizures, I had 6 or more of the veins in my throat tied so that when I started vomiting I would not bleed out. I was warned that if any of those veins torn that I would bleed to death in 4-5 hours and they would not be able to stop the bleeding even if I was in the hospital. The pain of withdrawal was soon forgotten and I would start drinking again.
I voluntarily went to 28 day treatment facility in Gooding, Idaho. I knew that I was cured after 3-4 days and tried my best to get someone to come and & get me. I stuck out the 28 days and was glad that I did but was back in the hospital within days after getting home…….drinking again & again, lie after lie until I didn’t even know the truth most of the time, hurting myself & family……I am so, so sorry. I would put on a smile and would act like I had all under control. I felt like the only “friend” I had was alcohol. That was my coping mechanism. Please, Please get help, talk to someone, anyone who will listen. Do not give up. Do not end your life!!!! Despite your pain, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Remember, it is one day at a time. I gave my life to Jesus on Sunday October 14th, 2018 and now I am in God’s arms. Only God will judge me.
Don’t feel guilty,
It was the time that I chose to go.
I can see that you are all feeling sad,
I can see the tears flow.
My life ended too soon for all of you,
The path I chose was my own,
I know that you all tried to change it,
But in the end it was my decision to make.
I know that I have caused you sadness,
I know that I have caused you pain,
But I was captured by the alcohol demons in a split second.
I was afraid that they would never set me free.
Alcohol took away my freedom,
It took away my choices.
When it got it hooks in, you could even hear it is my voice.
They were many many times I tried to fight the alcohol,
There was a times I nearly won.
But the alcohol demons would be back and overpower me,
I just felt that I had no place left to run.
I haven’t really left you all,
I am closer than you know,
I will be the whisper in the wind,
The light of a camp fire,
Grammie Wilda’s coffee brewing,
A shooting star,
A ripple in a lake
The snow on a cold winter day.
I will be everywhere you go.
One day you will be able to forgive me.
One day you will understand
And when your time of earth is done
I will be waiting to take your hand…
I am survived by:
Parents Bob & Linda Cook, sister Darcy & Ed Porter, Keynan & Allisha Porter, Connor & Sophie Porter, Kelton & Sarah Porter, Jesse & Shanna Cook, Jaci Cook, Justin Cook, and their mother Heidi LaPuzza, Cameron Cook, Jordan & Charlie Archuleta and mother Stephanie Davison, Charlie Archuleta, Ben & Debbie Davison, BJ Davison, Chris & Julie Davison and their children lil bauk, bauk farmer & lil minion, Lexi & Corbin. Brad, Gretchen, Tim, Doug, Shad & Chasima, Cook. Betty, Mark, Chad & Heidi Poeschel, Dave & Terri Baum, Annette, Rod & Russell Gould, Candice Gould Alphin, Jerry & Bobbie Wilda, Vickie, Jackie, Billie and Jerri Kaye.
Grandchildren: Paisley Cook, Lucy & Vinny Brown, Aleister Archuleta AKA “Little man”
I was preceded in death: by granddaughter Alayna Cook
Remember me when:
You wear your flip flops and that will be proper shoe attire on the day of my “Celebration of Life. Have a cold ham & cheese sandwich with lots of onions one of these days when you don’t have to worry about bad breath….LOL
My favorite scripture in the Bible which “the old man” and I shared almost daily:
Proverbs 3:5 & 6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
Do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek His will in all that you do,
And He will show which path to take.
Suicide Prevention Hot line: 208-398-4357
Grace Bible Church: 208-466-1751